Choices
by AnnaRinzler
Summary: Terra's POV, beginning with the time she joins the Titans.
1. Running

**Sold My Soul**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this very nice, very new, computer._

_Send me comments or I'll send Slade after you people!_

Chapter One

I can't help it. I'm scared. That's why I'm running in the opposite direction of Jump City. That's why I left my silver butterfly comb, a gift from my mother, at _their _stupid Tower. I'm scared. Scared to death.

_They know. _That's all I can think, as my footsteps pound out the rhythm on the dusty ground. They know I'm a freak, just some freak that can't control her powers. My stupid powers. I don't even want them, not really.

I'm thinking, as I'm running, that it was a mistake—coming here. I had heard about this group of superheroes, see, and I figured I could join them. I figured someone like me might even be _welcome _here. But I'm not. It turns out that I'm a freak among freaks. They're not my real friends anyway. I don't have any friends. There's nowhere that I'm welcome.

I take that back. I know of somewhere I'm welcome. I know of someone who wants me: _Slade. _Even thinking his name gives me shivers. I met him, actually.

Now I'm getting hot from all this running. The sun is going down, but it's still the hottest part of the day. At least I think it is. I might have learned that in school, before I just gave up and dropped out. I've been running for so long that I can hear the blood pounding in my ears as salty, sticky sweat trickles down my back. I hate sweat. By now I know I should slow down and rest, but I don't. I just keep running into the canyons.

I'm really stupid, because my mind keeps going back to Slade. I can't believe I met the great villain himself. Of course, he made me look like a fool. Good thing we were the only ones around to see that he could have kicked my ass without batting an eye. But he didn't. And I suppose in some ironic way, that makes him the only person I've met that hasn't hurt me.

Actually, he made me cry. I'm ashamed of that. He didn't see, though. All he saw was me lose control, yet again. And Beast Boy…but I don't want to think about him. He just made me hurt worse. It's Beast Boy's fault anyway. He told Robin, and the rest of them.

I don't want to think about him. It hurts, you know? It hurts to finally let in some hope, some little ray of sunshine, and then to have the door slammed shut right in your face. I can't tell if I'm queasy from the disappointment, or from all the running.

Slade made me an offer. He made _me _an offer. Slade said that he could help me. With my problem. And trust me, I really need his help. But he really scares me, which is why I can't decide…screw it. I don't have anywhere else to go!

I can't run anymore. My chest feels like…like Slade just whacked me with that long metal rod, whatever it's called. Falling to the ground, I can feel my knees scraping the ground, the sand grinding into my knees. But I don't really care right now. I can't take it anymore. I can't go anymore.

_"SLADE!"_

My voice sounds hoarse, but water is just a happy memory right now. It echoes around the red rocks in the canyon I'm in as I wobble to my feet. There's a light sound to my right. Slowly turning around in that direction, he's there, just like I expected. Standing there like my guardian angel. If my guardian angel was a criminal, that is.

"Yes, Terra?" He asks calmly, and somehow that makes me mad and frustrated. It's not like I'm about to keel over or anything. I wipe sweat off my forehead and squint up at him. _I've come to take your offer, _I want to say, but instead I take one ragged breath and—"Please you have to help me the Titans don't want me anymore and I don't have anywhere else to go and I don't have any money or anything just PLEASE!"

Covering my face with my hands, I suck in one ragged breath after another as the tears start pouring down my face. "Terra, stop," Slade says flatly, and I jump as he lays a heavy hand on my shoulder. "You're dehydrated. And delirious."

"I am?" I feel myself ask. But I can't really feel anything anymore. "Terra," Slade warns, and I feel him catch me before I pass out right there.


	2. Deal With the Devil

Chapter Two

_FYI, I still don't own anything but my computer. Thanks to those who reviewed! I promise I'll update as soon as I can, but it may end up being only once a week from now on._

_"Ugh…"_

Waking up, I hazily registered this lovely sound as coming from my own mouth. After snapping it shut, I still have no clue where I am. But, even with my eyes closed I can tell that it's cool in here, and there's a really light sheet over me, which is an improvement from—

Slade. What did he do? What did he do to me? Shooting up in the bed, I'm left staring at a blank white wall. In fact, the entire room seems to be white. Where am I? A hospital? My hair's probably a ratty mess, darn it. But I can't fix it with my left arm. There seems to be a needle in my arm, held in place with gauze or something. I don't know what it is. All I know is that there's a tube attached to my arm and a bag of clear…something is being pumped into it. Great. At least it doesn't hurt.

For some reason I find my thoughts wandering to those stories. You know the ones, where the girl passes out only to 'awaken' in a nice bed, with clean clothes on, happy that the guy rescued her? Well, this isn't one of those stories. _My _clothes have been tossed casually in a corner, and the longer I stare at them the redder my face seems to be getting. Along with that, I'm not the hottest person to look at after she's been asleep.

And what about…but I don't even wan to think about him. Coming in here, hooking up that machine thing, and taking off my—

"Awake, Terra?" Jumping half out of the bed, I jerk around to find Slade standing about five feet from me. Gah. I'm the least observant person in the world. Or maybe he's the quietest. Right. "Y-y-yes. Where am I? Why did you bring me here?" I ask, pulling the sheet around me and hoping he didn't see my bra and underwear. Slade sighs. "Terra, try not to stutter when you talk. It's terribly unbecoming."

At this my face heats up again. He's staring at me like I'm a bug under a microscope. A very small bug. "Sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again." He nods. "Good. You're here because you passed out; right after you simply begged me to help you. Remember?" Unfortunately, yes. "Yes," I mutter, looking away from him. "Since you were emaciated and dehydrated, I had to run an intravenous solution through your veins before the problem got any worse."

I nod and squeeze the cotton sheet a little tighter. "Oh. Thank you," I reply, having no clue what he said. _Great. Slade's horribly smart. I never was. I hate smart people. _"I expect you'll want to fix your problem sometime in the near future, correct?" At this my eyes are glued to his. "Yes. I don't want to be a freak anymore. I just want to be normal. Well, as normal as I can be, you know?"

I'm getting excited again. There's hope for me now. Maybe he'll help me. He said he would. "But Terra," Slade says, sitting down next to me and laying a hand over mine. There are definitely butterflies in my stomach now. He squeezes my hand, as if we're having a normal conversation. His hands are warm. Mine are cold.

"I could help you be better than normal." I'm confused now and I tell him as much. "You don't want to just be _normal, _do you? We can do so much better than that. I've told you before—I could teach you to shine." By now I'm staring down at our hands. "But…are you just going to run back to the Titans when we're done?"

At this I can feel myself getting mad. My power wants to come up, but I force it down just in time. "No. Beast Boy _told _them, Slade. He told them that I was a…freak who couldn't control her own powers. They wouldn't want me anymore anyway."

"Of course. And wouldn't you…like to get back at them, just a little, for what they did? But you know you couldn't tell anyone that I'm helping you. Of course, there's no one to tell." That odd feeling grows stronger as Slade laces our fingers together. Live here? Live with a man twice my age and twice as smart as me? "Yes," I hear myself reply from a far-off place, "I'd like that."

_(Author's note: Don't forget to review! Even flames are accepted.))_


	3. Training

Chapter Three: Training

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Teen Titans._

I am addicted. Lying in bed at night, I can think about it over and over, and realize that on some insane level I'm just another crack addict, hooked on the sheer adrenaline rush of fighting. Slade and I spar a lot, so in a way this druggie is getting all she wants, and more.

_"Block it, Terra. But don't just block it, attack me back." Slade threw a punch at me, and I time seemed to slow down. I brought my wrist up, turned it, and the blow was directed harmlessly off into empty space._

_But the force of it drove me to my knees. Rolling out of the way, I anticipated another blow, which came in the form of a swift kick to the ribs—or at least he tried to kick me in the ribs._

_My power. I had to use it and I did, building another rock platform that I used to sloppily fly out of the way. But Slade was an old hand at this game and he headed straight for me, throwing a roundhouse kick that knocked my platform into pieces._

_I still don't have a handle on it, my power. "Terra! Attack now!" So I made another platform, forcing myself to ignore the lactic acid built up in my muscles as I held out my arms and distracted Slade, while another platform constructed itself behind his back._

_Acting like I was going to ram him head-on, I brought the second hunk of rock toward Slade's head—and he back flipped over it._

_"Dammit," I muttered. "I know you did not just swear, young lady," Slade snapped while executing another flawless back flip. That's one of his pet peeves—he can't stand swearing. "It's not classy," whatever that means._

_"No sir," I replied, trying to keep the glee from my voice when the rocks I directed at him hit their target. Pelting him over and over, I find that about ½ of my missiles hit their target._

_Suddenly Slade makes a strangled noise and drops to his knees. His arms are shaking. "Slade? Are you alright?" I ask, panicked at the thought that I might have actually hurt him._

_Dropping down beside him, I tentatively lay a hand on his shoulder but have to yank it away—the sweltering sun heated up his metal armor. Putting the hand on his shoulder, I find that he's not gasping for breath like I thought._

_"Slade?"_

_He doesn't reply for a moment. Oh, hot damn. In his right hand? Is now a fully extended Bo staff. Joy. _

_"Y-you were faking"—I cut off as he rolls on his side once and holds the staff behind his back. _

_"You should try it sometime, Terra," Slade says right before cracking me across the stomach._

And I'm still sore, too. But Slade told me to "Just get used to it." Burrowing down deeper in the sheets, I squeeze my eyes shut in the pitch-black room and smile wryly at the memory. My room. Heck, I practically have a _house, _since Slade told me to just "fix whatever I wanted," in the kitchen, because he wasn't going to deal with it.

I'm pretty sure at this point that I made the right choice. I mean, Slade's helping me control my power, right? And I can tell all of his training is paying off—even though I've never been so sore in my life. After two weeks here, I think I'm actually starting to improve. Not that Slade would ever tell me that. I mean, he might, eventually.

Hopefully he will. Heck, I feel great if I get so much as a "Good, Terra," out of him when we spar.

_"I don't even think about Beast Boy anymore," _I think hazily, adjusting my pillow and trying to push "That green kid" out of my mind before I fall asleep and start dreaming about him.

**Author's Note: Hey, guys. Just thought I'd clear a few things up. I'm not a ravening wolf looking for reviews; I just like them, as any author does. The reason I accept flames is that it gives me a chance to argue with the (usually) uneducated person who sent them, along with providing a direct link to THEIR stories, so I can see if the flame holds water. Also, Slade and Terra will NOT be having sex. No. While it happened in the comics, it will not be happening in this fic. I'll update in a week or so. Until then! -Rose**


	4. Sent Back

Chapter Four: Sent Back

_Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but my computer.._

I have to meditate. Everyday, for about an hour, and it is the most boring chore on the face of the planet. Unfortunately for me, Slade's right there every time I do it. Another unfortunate fact is that my alarm clock is programmed for 5:00a.m. and I can't change it. So it's up at the crack of dawn for "meditation."

"Terra, stop thinking. _Meditate."_

Hearing Slade's voice about two inches from my face startles me so much that I jump, my elbows banging my knees while I fight the urge to open my eyes. I'm trying to let go, I really am, but the gritty dirt is biting into my calves, and the hot sun is burning a hole through this black shirt.

And the thought of _him _being right there is enough to make anyone lose their concentration. In, and out. Breathe in…and out…

"That's enough for today."

I open my eyes, but Slade's already gotten to his feet without a sound. I stare at his outstretched hand dumbly for a moment before taking it and struggling to get up. I'm such a klutz, and Slade moves like a tiger through the forest, never making any noise unless he needs to.

Squinting, I turn to face the sunrise that's coming up over the canyons and dust my knees off as Slade comes to stand beside me.

"It's—it's beautiful, isn't it?" I offer, glancing away and not looking directly at the piercing purple, orange, and red rays.

Slade doesn't reply. "Yes," he says finally, "I suppose it must be."

I think about this all the way back to the huge compound, right until he snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Your powers are under control now, you know," he says, punching in the fourteen-digit code that opens the titanium doors.

"Really?" I ask over the sound of machines whirring.

My heart leaped in my throat. My powers are mine now. Well they're Slade's too, as he deems necessary to point out ever so often.

"Yes, Terra. I believe it's time for you to prove yourself."

By now I've got that heady feeling, the excited adrenaline rush of someone who's just won a gold medal in the Olympics or something. But I rein it in. Somehow I get the idea that Slade doesn't approve of overdone displays of emotion.

"What do you want me to do?"

We walk in and he holds a hand over a long black table. I'm left staring at his back as he idly walks along, looking through his various gadgets and gizmos for something—there.

"This is for you," Slade says calmly, picking up a silver laptop and holding it flat in his hands.

Wow. I don't say that, of course.

"Thank you, Slade," I reply, my mind buzzing with questions, WHY is he giving me this, WHY do I need it, HOW do I use it?

"Terra. I need you to do something for me."

When he lays a hand on my shoulder I really start freaking out. Sure, he's done it before, but only when he thought I might actually _die _from something or whatever. We're not really touchy-feely people.

"I'm sending you back to the Titans," Slade says, kneeling down so he's at my eye level.

My jaw drops. "I—I…wha?"

He simply sighs and uses his spare hand to close my mouth.

"I thought we cured your stuttering habit, dear."

I can't even form a complete sentence. My mind's gone blank.

**Author's Note: So, I lied. I update more than once a week. I appreciate ALL of you who review. ;) Also, I don't really like the idea of Slade as a "father figure." I see him more as someone Terra's attracted to from a distance, not necessarily in a completely sexual way. Sorry I don't know how to explain it better. I don't have particularly warm feelings for my father, so it's hard to give a character I'm writing about in _first person _warm feelings for even a father figure.**


	5. Going Home

Chapter Five: Going "Home"

_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, blah, blah, blah on with the show._

"Slade," I say calmly despite my pounding head, sweating body and churning stomach, _"I think I'm going to throw up on your very expensive laptop."_

No, really what I said was a very small, barely audible "Why?" That hardly came out at all.

"Terra," he replied, placing the computer back on the table so he could put his other hand on my shoulder, "I think that if you tried hard enough, you would know why."

We stare at each other for a long, long time and I nod leadenly.

"You want me to sabotage Titan's Tower, don't you?"

His eye narrows and seems to gleam a little bit more. By now I'm doing a half-smile thing, and Slade squeezes my shoulders.

"Good girl. I know you can do it. It's easy, Terra—because all I need from you are a few security codes, and other minor details. We've talked about this, right?"

"Yes," I respond automatically, "Hacking. Breaking through firewalls. Erasing cyber trails. The works."

He nods and stands up, resuming his ability to tower over me and everyone else.

"Now," Slade says briskly, I want you out of here by sunset. Do you remember, Terra, how you thought all those lessons in computer technology were a waste of your time?"

He folds his arms and I blush, the heat rising up through my face.

"Yes. But you said they'd pay off someday. Thank you."

"And they will. But right now? I need to get you ready to leave."

"What should I take?"

"Not much—here. You don't even have to pack; I've done it for you. There is $500 in one of your pockets, but try not to waste all of it. And put the laptop in here as well. Don't let the Titans see it."

Slade lifts an ordinary brown backpack with two fingers. When he hands it to me I strain to hold it with both hands.

"Slade—Slade, what am I supposed to…be?"

He sighs and squeezes his eye shut. Biting my lower lip, I only hope that Slade's not disappointed in me or anything.

"Come here, Terra. Leave the bag."

I nod and follow him. Slade walks behind me, laying a hand on my shoulder and steering me toward two chairs that we had been sitting in last night, while fiddling with a computer chip.

"You're going to pretend."

Slade steeples his fingers together and I sit up straighter in the hard-backed chair.

"You're going to go back to the Titans. Play nice. Act like you went to the wilderness, mastered your powers, and came back because you want to be a hero—Terra, don't pull that face with me."

I make my features go blank.

"In addition, you're going to do a little snooping around for me for security codes, cameras, and things of that nature. 'The works' as you called it earlier."

"Is that all you need me to do?" I ask, feeling the weight on my heart lift a little.

"In essence, yes. I'll contact you about it, and I expect you to contact _me _every night, at least once, so I can update you."

I nod vigorously.

"Of course. I understand—Master."

Silence.

He knows what that means. I've only called Slade that twice— when he saved my life during a rockslide and the night he came back injured.

"Terra," Slade says slowly, reaching forward and putting his hand back on my shoulder, "Remember: You are better than them. You are _better _than the Titans. Never forget that I taught you everything you know, because I know you can do this. You _will _do this, Terra. For me."

"Of course. I know what to do."

"I know you do," he replies, the barest traces of fondness in his voice as he takes his hand back, "I know you do."

We sit there for awhile, and then, we begin to talk. I don't know how long I listened to Slade, only that the smoothness and coldness of his voice lulled me into a hazy state and flung the hours away from us like so much sand in the wind.

For a time, I forgot. I forgot my mission; I forgot that I was to be sent in as a spy and as a traitor to the heroes of the city, cut off from my only ally in the world.

But then? It all came rushing back.

"Terra," Slade says, pressing a button that makes a digital red clock appear on one of his gadgets. 6:03p.m. Sunset.

"Remember, my dear, to have every confidence in the world. I will not betray you. Now it's time for you to go."

At this my stomach curls in knots again. I don't want to leave. I want to stay here, where the world can't see me—us, and learn to fight, and about meditation and all of that stuff.

I just want to stay where I belong.

**Author's Note: Whew! I had to think about that one-doing Slade (dialog) is always hard. Well, maybe I could have rephrased that sentence better…never mind. Thanks to all my faithful reviewers, and I'll update soon!**


	6. And So It Begins

Chapter Six: And So It Begins

_Disclaimer: I own Teen Titans, if only in my mind._

Flying back to their Tower was hard—if only because it was so easy. Squinting against the setting sun, I thought about the fact that it _was _so easy, solely because of Slade's training. He wasn't a very encouraging person, but he did teach me everything I know. For some reason I'm nervous now, now that I can see the imposing steel and glass structure that makes up their home.

I fly to the bottom, sitting cross-legged on my rocky platform as I try to decide what to do. Unbidden, Slade's words came to my mind.

_"Ostentatious, really. One should never flaunt their occupation or location, especially not with such an elaborate building."_

_I nodded and remained standing while Slade pressed several more keys on the keyboard._

_"Do you even know what ostentatious means, Terra?" He asked in a condescending tone, "Of course you don't."_

_I tried to keep from glaring at him, I really did._

_"It means overly showy or elaborate. Sir," I added, looking at him with absolutely no expression._

_Slade's eye widened behind the mask._

_"Interesting," he said, "Perhaps your vocabulary is not as defunct as I once thought."_

_I let a smile cross my lips._

_"I try not to be ostentatious, Slade."_

"Oww!" I gasped, starting as a bump on the head interrupted my thoughts. The volleyball bounced harmlessly to the ground and I picked it up. They must be on the roof or somethi—

"Aww, _man _Raven! There goes our only ball!" A familiar voice said.

My heart lurched to my throat in that instant and I picked up the ball, suddenly as nervous as if I were about to go onstage for a play. In a way I was. Bumping the ball back up to the roof, I waited a few seconds and smiled confidently, remembering that Slade was my ally and with him I couldn't lose.

"So who's team am I on?"

Everything from there was a blur. I endured bone-crushing hugs from Starfire, Cyborg's deathly handshake, and Robin's quizzical looks before I came to Beast Boy.

"Um…hey, Terra!" He said shyly, and I found myself smiling for real this time.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Nothing much," he said, giving me an awkward hug-handshake thing which I returned in a no-less awkward fashion.

"I'm ready to take you guys up on your offer. I want to be a Teen Titan," I said, trying to sound perky and hopeful.

For some reason it wasn't hard.

"Well…" Beast Boy said, "Last time you kinda freaked out because…"

"You couldn't control your powers," Raven hissed.

Raven. Locking eyes with her was like blurting out your life's story, because I swear…

_She knows._

My stomach dropped like a lead balloon.

"Oh," I said dejectedly, while on the inside I was screaming bloody murder.

_Slade's gonna kill me!_

"I…didn't realize your offer had an expiration date."

_I am so dead. I mean, that's it. He's going to punch me until I literally bleed to death. And he'll like it._

Beast Boy. I could totally convince him!

"He-llo! That's why I left! I've been practicing you guys!"

In the next few minutes I proceeded to dazzle everyone with one of the very first tricks I learned while staying with Slade. The whole time I was doing it, lifting the rocks, shooting them in the sky, I was thinking about what _he _would say.

_"Keep them higher, girl!"_

_"Terra, make sure they stay in form."_

_"This is a training exercise, NOT play time."_

_"Terra—that's right."_

"Dude! She really _has_ gotten better!" Beast Boy said, after my cheesy landing.

"She learned a few tricks. Doesn't mean she's any less dangerous," Raven sneered.

Suddenly the ground began to shake. I blushed on a reflex, but it wasn't me.

"Wasn't me," I said, instead of the _"I didn't perform that action, sir_,"that I was used to.

"Trouble," Robin said sharply, "Terra, you coming?"

"Does this means I'm on the team?" I called.

_Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm on the team—_

"It means we could use your help."

_Damn it._

**Author's Note: Thanks to all those who review! Here's another update for you to sink your teeth into, and I really appreciate comments on how to improve, (not that compliments aren't very nice to receive.) Tell me if I keep everyone in character. I DO realize that the rooftop conversation isn't quite exactly what was said as well. **


	7. Lying Through Your Teeth

Chapter Seven: Lying Through Your Teeth

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Or North and South Dakota, so stop asking me.**_

_Why._

_Don't play stupid, girl, it doesn't suit you._

_I almost lost it._

_  
So I saw, despite the fact that my hands were full dealing with Robin._

_You could have told me. Why didn't you tell me?_

_I needed a believability factor, to make it look like you really were frantic about their precious Tower being destroyed from the ground up. And you worked it in oh-so-well, until…_

_I know what I did, and I'm sorry. I just wished you would have told me before you demolished my home or all that other stuff. I actually was 'freaking out' you know._

_  
I can take care of myself, Terra._

_I know, Slade._

_And it's not your home, girl. You had best remember that._

_I'm sorry that's not what I—_

**User has signed off at 12:49a.m.**

The laptop emitted a soft beeping noise, letting me know that the "other user" had abruptly signed off and I was left typing to empty air. "Thanks for congratulating me," I muttered, glancing at the black and yellow communicator laying placidly beside the silver computer.

Swallowing a growing lump in my throat, I let my hands hover over the keyboard again and stared at the crisp white box that still held our conversation. What would I say if he was still there?

Glancing around the room brought a slight smile to my face. It was rather nice and the earth-tones were a welcome change from the icy cold starkness of Slade's—what was it—"military compound."

Before I knew it I was running my fingers along the laptop's edge, as if touching it might remove any un-loyal thoughts about Slade. Maybe staring at Slade's computer could stop me from thinking about how everyone here was a teenager and ate junk food, and slept late on the weekends, and knew all the best movies and video games.

_Beast Boy definitely has a crush on me by now, _I thought, smiling a bit and smoothing down my hair. We did like some of the same stuff-and he actually was funny in a corny sort of way.

And it felt _great _to leave my hair down again. Slade always made me put it in a ponytail for "practices," which should have been called "torture sessions with Mr. Perfect." Honestly, I don't even think Robin's training will be this hard after Slade's.

A hard lump lodges itself in my stomach and now I'm queasy.

What would I say to Slade if I could?

_I'm sorry, _I type to empty space. The computer doesn't like this and beeps its annoyance.

**User has signed off at 12:49a.m.**

_I'll try not to screw up with Raven._

_It's my fault, you always showed me that._

**User has signed off at 12:49a.m.**

_I'm part of the team now! Aren't you proud of me? I did just what you said, but you're right about mostly everything, you know._

**User has signed off at 12:49a.m.**

_I shouldn't have screamed like that, when you and Robin were fighting in the elevator thing. I should have known you could beat him—you do every time._

_But I swear I won't let Raven be suspicious of me anymore. I swear, Slade._

_I wish you would have said something about me getting into the Titans. I wish I meant something to you. I hope I do. I really, really hope I do._

_I don't want to be alone here. It's really weird because I'm trying to do what you asked, but I'm not sure and it's late and even though I'm in the Titans I feel like I'm all alone and you don't care._

**My dear girl, you are never alone.**

**User has signed off at 1:14 a.m.**

**Author's Note: **WoOoOo…creepySo? You like it? I hope so! Anyway, I really don't have much to say right now, but remember to REVIEW ON YOUR WAY OUT! Let me remind you that this is not a _blatant_ Slade/Terra fic, and any undertones you may have detected can be interpreted any way you wish. I'll update, but with college courses looming over my head, it may be awhile. This was just a little snippet I felt like doing.


	8. Mental Issues

Chapter Eight: Mental Issues

_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans_

"Terra? Are you _coming?" _Beast Boy yelled through the metal door. I jumped on reflex, fumbling with the laptop as I struggled to shut it down. "C-coming!" I yelled, glancing back at one final text message.

**Don't eat too much pizza, kid. Remember: I'll be watching…**

"Terra? Dude, I'm hungry."

"Wh-where are we going, Beast Boy?" I asked, staring at the monitor in relative shock as I backed away slowly.

"Cyborg wants to try it out…it's a pizza place."

"Frickin' stalker," I muttered under my breath, just as Beast Boy opened the door.

"You say something?" He asked, eyebrows lifting in confusion.

I laughed lamely.

"Yeah…I said I'm frickin' starved!"

_Well. Aren't you a regular Dr. Seuss. Rhymes and everything._

_Great. Now you're starting to think like him. _

"Hey, Terra? Robin's been kind of…to-ed lately so you might want to cut down on the swearing."

"Okay," I said easily, hooking my arm through his and sauntering merrily down the hall, "If bird boy wants me to stop, I will."

Beast Boy sighed with relief. 

"Good. Thanks."

"No prob! Now…how are we getting there."

"Well, I'm too lazy to fly, so we're going in Cyborg's car. Wanna hear a joke?"

I laughed at that, because Beast Boy…always wants to tell a joke. I unlinked my arm from his since it provided an easier method of walking down the stairs and we descended, the sounds of Starfire's naiveté floating up to meet us.

"But friends! Are you sure mint ice cream is not an acceptable pizza toping?"

"She gets confused," Beast Boy whispered.

"Beast Boy! That's not nice," I said, suppressing a laugh when he crossed his eyes and made a face.

"Nah, she knows I don't mean it. We're like…soy butter and jelly."

"Eww! That's so gross!" I replied loud enough that the sound echoed around the hollow metal garage.

"What's gross?" Cyborg asked, punching a button on his arm so that the car's doors swung open.

"Is soy butter real? Like, instead of peanut butter?"

"What have you been telling her?" Cyborg asked Beast Boy in mock horror, "Get in the car so we can pump you full of meaty goodness!"

"Ignore the vegetarian," Beast Boy muttered, "They always ignore the vegetarian."

He quickly turned into a flying squirrel and zoomed to the car, taking the front seat while squeaking "Shotgun!" at us. I took my time, but since Starfire was flying there and Robin was taking his motorcycle, that left me sitting next to—

"Hey, Raven," I said flatly, glancing at her while she glanced out of the window.

"Terra," she replied mildly.

Don't get me wrong. I mean, ever since the whole "metal worm thing" we haven't been at war with each other, but aside from that one mushy friend-themed moment…we're just not that close.

"Please tell me they have vegetable pizza," Beast Boy asked Cyborg.

I had to squint in the sun, as the garage door suddenly flipped open and we zoomed out of the Tower, the car purring like the well-oiled machine that it was.

"I don't know," he replied, "Meat wouldn't kill you to eat, you know. It's good for ya."

"And we get tired of hearing about it," Raven said in perfect monotone.

"Just a little bit," I cut in.

Raven looked over at me, mild surprise written on her face before she sighed and leaned her elbow against the car door again. What? Can't I actually agree with Raven? Too bad I only did it to get on her good side…maybe now she won't kill me.

"Sweet!" Cyborg said, startling me out of my thoughts.

The doors swung open and I absentmindedly caught Raven's elbow before she could fall.

"Thanks," she said, "Your reflexes…got really fast all of a sudden."

"Well, you know," I said, letting go of her arm in a hurry.

We got out of the car and I tried to find a good excuse.

"It must be all those video games with Beast Boy."

"Sure," she said, rolling her eyes, "I know you hate those things as much as me," Raven continued mildly.

I laughed hoarsely.

"What, can you read my mind or something?"

She stopped just short of the buffet line and glanced at me, her eyes suddenly growing…darker.

"Sometimes," Raven said solemnly, staring at me in an odd way.

And then the moment was gone.

"Ter-RUH!" Beast Boy screamed, yanking my arm towards the salad bar, "Let me save you from the fatty, greasy pizza!"

_He did say to eat healthier…_I though glumly, taking a plate and following him down the line.

A few minutes later we were sitting on the terrace, Cyborg cramming a slice of sausage pizza in so fast I was forced to stare in morbid fascination.

"Go! Go! Go!" Robin chanted, laughing so hard I wondered where the real Robin had gone.

"Yeah, dude," Cyborg said, licking his fingers free of the grease.

"You know how disgusting that is, right?" Raven said, tossing back her last sip of tea.

"You should try it sometime," he taunted, waving a piece of pizza at her.

"Watch it or I'll take your hand off," she replied, stabbing her plate with a dull metal fork for emphasis.

"Raven? Who eats pizza with a fork?"

She narrowed her eyes at Robin.

"Yeah, well. Who eats pizza with _garlic _on it?" Raven countered.

"Ouch," Cyborg muttered.

Our leader reddened.

"Come on, guys. Starfire eats it with _mint ice cream."  
_

"Yes, Robin. But at least I do not dress like a traffic light."

"Dude! You got told!"

"Yeah…well…" he said lamely, laughing along with the rest of us.

"Come on Robin," I said, snickering, "How can you save a city when you can't even save yourself?"

Everyone laughed again at this, Cyborg reaching across the circular table to grab another slice of pizza. Instantly Robin choked on Diet Sprite and started to cough, his eyes growing huge behind his mask as he stared at me.

"Friend Robin, you know we are just…'playing around'" Starfire said, squeezing him in a bone crushing hug.

I got cold all over and time seemed to slow down.

"_Terra, watch this. You need to evaluate your enemy."_

"_Is this where you flipped Robin over the edge of the building?"_

"_Yes."_

"_How can you save a city when you can't even save yourself?"_

I didn't let it show.

"So guys," I said casually, "What movie are we watching tonight?"

"What?" Robin said, shaking himself out of it, "Oh, yeah! I vote an action movie."

"You just want action so you can correct every little flaw in the karate," Beast Boy whined.

Robin shrugged from across the table and Beast Boy flicked a red pepper piece at him. It flew wild, spiraling over his head and landing dangerously close to a random dude reading the newspaper. I squinted across at him. He had his back turned and didn't seem to notice the pepper piece laying on the table as he ran a hand through his white hair and turned the page of the paper, rustling it so the large "Who is Slade?" ad was clearly in my view.

I continued staring at his back until he turned to his right, exposing…no, don't let it be—

A black eye patch.

_What a coincidence. Well, it's probably nothing. I mean, Slade couldn't have white hair or anything, because that would make him old._

The random dude signaled to one of the staff, who smiled at him, flicked her brown ponytail back, and said something. Probably his tab, because he took a few bills from his suit pocket and pressed them in her hand, smiling back and saying "Keep the change."

Good thing I learned to read lips. Things are so much more interesting this way. She turned to face him. The man smiled again, exposing pearly-white teeth and shrugging. The waitress nodded and quickly walked away, blushing a bit and smiling to herself. Gag me with a spoon—other people's flirting makes me nauseated.

Hm…odd. He didn't look old enough to have white hair. But who the heck would wear a white wig? I thought about pointing him out to Beast Boy, but he was jabbering on, something about tofu.

_Oh my god, that guy's got a knife!  
_

The man stood and continued to twirl the knife between his fingers, reaching down with one hand and pulling a pair of sunglasses out.

_He's walking over here. Why is he walking past us? There's—_

Slowing down casually, the man swung by our table and stopped twirling the knife. That's when I realized it wasn't a knife at all. It—was—my butterfly comb. Slade winked and smiled at me, the wind blowing his hair around as he sauntered back into the restaurant.

I just saw Slade's actual face! His real face, that probably hasn't seen the light of day in…years! But more importantly.

Slade just smiled at me.

What has this world come to?

**Author's Note: Well, another chapter down. I LOVE PEOPLE WHO REVIEW! Just had to get that out of my system there…anyway, what did ya think? I'll update again before school starts, I promise! (And it'll be semi-long, thanks to my reviewer who wanted longer chaps.)**


	9. Stalkeresque

Chapter Nine: Stalker-esque

**Me: Slade, read the disclaimer for me.**

**Slade: No.**

**Me: Pleeease?**

**Slade: NO! Now let go and stop hugging me, you hormonal little fan girl!**

**Me: Pizzeria Waitress**

**Slade: _Rose does not own Teen Titans_**

"Movie time! Movie time!" Beast Boy chants as we stumble tiredly inside the living room.

"Yeah. But you better hope there's no crime tonight—the Titans don't get to punch the proverbial clock."

"I'm proud of you, Robin," Raven says flatly, materializing in front of us, "Those vocab lessons are reeeally starting to pay off."

"Cut it out," he grumbles, "Some of us don't have time to read as much as you do."

She shrugged and tossed two DVD's at him like Frisbees, hovering over to the couch and taking her customary place at the end while pulling out—a book.

"What are you reading, Raven?" I ask, taking a seat beside her and glancing around, praying the others are coming soon. She glanced at me.

"Nothing that you would understand."

_Ouch. Burned._

"Or maybe you might—I mean, someone might have taught you about it or something."

_Ouch. Charbroiled. Great. I'm dead. That's it, she knows._

Beast Boy plopped beside me and Raven turned back to her book, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Beast Boy! We're watching Cannibal Holocaust, and that's final!"

_Wham._

An extra-large bowl of popcorn sailed through the air and landed dangerously close to my face. Beast Boy on my left was hit with a barrage of kernels and butter, which went flying all over the couch we were sitting on.

"Cyborg! It's 'Scary Movie 2' and _that's_ final!"

Cyborg gave something of a growl and looked around for another missile to throw. He backed slowly into the wide-screen TV and spotted—

"AHA!" He cried.

"NO! NOT THE REMOTE!" All of us yelled in unison.

"You _guys!" _I screamed.

"Ow! Terra," Beast Boy hissed, covering his ears.

"Sorry. But why don't we just…watch them both?"

Dead silence.

"You can…flip a coin to see who's movie gets to get played first."

"Alright!" Cyborg said, "But you know…Cannibal Holocaust will win."

"I'm hoping for Scary Movie 2 myself," Robin said mildly.

"Hey, Terra? You got a coin?" Cyborg asks hopefully.

Raven rolls her eyes, crossing her legs and turning the page of her book.

"Yeah, hold on…"

My fingers dig down in the back pocket of new denim capris, past a gum wrapper…what's this—ah, the pizza place receipt, some lint and—

"I can't find it," I croak suddenly, my fingers suddenly hot against smooth slick metal, "Here," I finish while stumbling up from the couch, "I'll find a quarter."

"There is one on the table, friend Terra," Starfire calls.

I toss it at a confused Beast Boy before running off again.

"You okay?" Robin calls.

"Yeah!" I yell on my way back to my room, "I'll be right back so you can start without me!"

The sounds of their squabbling and an excited "YES!" from Beast Boy fade away as I run into my room, flipping the light on and yanking out the comb into the light of day.

"_God…how…"_

Yup, this is it alright. My butterfly comb. It winks comfortingly in the soft light. But how did Slade get it in there?

_Must have been at the coffee shop later…maybe he flirted with THAT waitress on his way out too…_

_Why would he give this back, though? Was Slade being nice or something? Nah, he's not really that sort of person. Or is he? I don't know. Probably just to let me know he's watching me._

"Knew I should have gotten a fat-free latte instead," I mutter while pulling the comb into my hair, "If _he _was going to be there. Prolly will make me do extra crunches or something after this."

And I didn't even notice it either. I jump on my bed and lay face up, staring at the ceiling. That's what is really weird. I couldn't even feel anything go in my back pocket. What was he, a pickpocket in another life?

_Well, I guess it just proves that it's easy for Slade to get in your pants…_

"Whoa! No, no, grr…wrong train of thought," I say aloud, shooting off of the bed with restless energy.

"TERRA? What are you, sick or something?" Beast Boy yells, pounding on the door, "The movie's starting!"

"I'm coming!" I scream back, glancing at the laptop and hitting a key so I can wake it out of sleep mode, then shut it down.

_Slade got in your pa-ants…_

"Stop it, brain," I hiss, "God, it's just a hair accessory. He's not in my…ergh…pants…"

I have the most random, strange mind ever, I swear…must be all the junk food. The computer's being slow so I hit a few more keys so it'll shut down.

_**Stop thinking like a pervert, Terra. You're not my type.**_

**_And get the security codes tomorrow._**

**User has signed off at 10:47p.m.**

**Author's Note: Hey! How about that hot SladeXWaitress action in the last chapter? That's about as graphic as you'll get in this story. Well, this is a test to see who reads the author's note: Tell me if you do when you review.**


	10. Don't Forget

Chapter Ten: Never Forget

_Disclaimer: I don't own TT, or anything other than my computer._

I'm sitting here staring, even though the sun is really hot and really bright and it feels like my eyeballs are frying.

"Why don't you get all loopy on coffee like I do?" Beast Boy whines to Raven, who makes what could be called a grunt, refusing to say anything else.

He sighs next to me and I tear my eyes away from the spectacle across the street, to place them on the towering pile of cream in my macchiato "X-tra large."

"Maybe she burns it all off flying and stuff," I shrug, taking a tentative lick of the cream. It's _really _good, but I know a certain someone would disapprove since it's probably loaded with fat and other stuff that's supposed to be bad for me. I don't really care, but he does.

"Whatever," Raven says, bored.

"I know I'll _have _to exercise this off," Robin says gloomily, sounding like an anorexic teenage girl instead of the Boy Wonder.

"Please, friends," Starfire says cheerfully, "I wish to order more coffee! It is very good, and I am told sprinkles are an acceptable topping for this dish and"—

"Down girl," Cyborg says, cutting in and grabbing her coffee cup, "That's enough for you. You're hyper enough as it is."

"I second the motion," Raven mutters crankily, burying her nose back in her book.

I go back to staring.

_Oh my god…I can't believe he used that pick-up line…what am I saying…I can't believe he used any pick-up line…wait. SLADE'S drinking coffee, why can't I?_

"Terra. Earth to Terra, this is Houston. What are you staring at? Hellloooo?"

"Look!" I shriek, pointing in the opposite direction, "A sale at…uh…Hollister!"

They all turn to look and I swear Robin's eyebrows can't go any higher.

"Um…I thought you hated that store," he says, looking at me in a slightly suspicious way.

"No I don't," I reply, hooking my arm through Beast Boy's and yanking him up, "So let's go or something."

"Nah, we gotta get back to the Tower," Robin says, checking his watch, "It's almost six anyway—and when the sun goes down, crime skyrockets, duh. Showtime."

When he says this my stomach does this funny little drop, like I'm about to go over a roller coaster even though I'm standing here on the gum-encrusted concrete. What was the date today? But I don't even have to look. November 5th.

Showtime.

Beast Boy bugs me about it all the way to the Tower, cracking jokes, waving his hand between me and the window I'm staring out of, obviously flirting. There's some part of me that enjoys it.

We walk calmly back into the Tower and—

"What were you counting?" Cyborg asks me, his frown indicating he knew _exactly _what I was counting under my breath.

"Ceiling tiles," I lie loudly, shrugging it off, _Not security cameras, _"I'm really OCD about stuff like that. It's weird."

"Just a little," Robin adds, leaving me free to hot-foot it to my room.

_So…close…_

By now I MIGHT be going to throw up. But I'm not, I realize, the cold air floating out to meet me ask I walk into the room, where _it _is, and I can't keep my eyes off of it, it's like the laptop is HIM, and he might as well be right there.

**Report.**

_There's only 10…I expected more cameras._

**However odd it IS, be sure that you looked closely enough, Terra.**

_Yes, sir, I did._

**I saw your little stunt today at that shop, Terra.**

_I saw you too. Who was that girl?_

**A completely and utterly irrelevant point. The point IS certain emotional attachments you seem to be developing.**

_I'm a good liar, really. I learned from the best, you know._

**ENOUGH flattery. It gets you nowhere. **

_I forget._

**If you were here…but you'll be here soon, won't you? Look what time it is.**

_It's…6:29p.m._

_Sir._

**Good. I hope you're ready.**

_I am. _

**You had better be.**

**_User has signed off at 6:31p.m._**

****"Terra! Ter-ruh!"

"C-coming!" I yell, scrambling to close the laptop and shove it under my bed. Beast Boy stands at the door, not making eye contact and shuffling his feet.

_No eye contact…sweat…tense…what are you nervous about?_

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Okay…well Beast Boy…nice talking to you."

"I kinda…made something for you."

By now I'm confused, but that bubbly feeling in my stomach just came back—the good feeling this time. Wow!

"You did?"

"Went a little crazy with the glue gun."

I try to force back a smile as I flex my palms, some of the glue sticking to them as I struggle to get away the butcher paper.

"Beast Boy…I don't know what to say," I begin, staring down at the silver heart-shaped box, _he made this?_

"You could say yes, cause I'm about to ask you on a date.

"Oh…wow…"

"How about we do something tomorrow night."

_NO! Damn…shit…ah…_

"I can't," I reply, my throat closing up and making me choke.

"What? Why?"

"I just…I can't."

Before I can see his face I slam the door, tossing the box on my bed and jumping beside it. I'm tired. Really, really tired.

_Remember, remember, the—_

"Shut UP, brain," I grumble, punching the pillow for…what was it Slade said…

"_Emphasis_," I say aloud, "Freaking vocabulary lessons. Like I'm five or something."

And suddenly I'm fed up with everything. And I'm bored, and I really don't want to be HERE right now. So before I know it, I've jumped out my third-story window, bringing up a nice patch of dirt to catch me.

_"Now she'll never go out with me!"_

Holy crap! Somebody likes me! Beast Boy has a crush on me! Maybe blondes do have more fun…

"Ahem."

"Terra! How long have you been there?"

"Want to go out?"

"Huh? I mean yeah! That's cool."

"So. You want to catch a late movie?"

"Nah," I reply, breathing an sigh of relief now that we're soaring over the open ocean, and the wind feels so good in my hair. Everything feels good. Well, almost everything.

I don't notice anything. It's like I'm on autopilot or something, and I'm just so GOOD at this acting thing. But I don't really want to act. I want to go on my first date, and maybe not just feel like…stone.

"This is the greatest pie in the HISTORY OF PIE!"

"I know," I shrug, thawing a bit and swiveling around in the barstool. I just can't get enough of these things. Even though it's really smoky and dim in here, and even though the mirror's kinda dir-

_Slade. Slade, Slade, SLADE! Oh my GOD! He's there. No, Terra. He's not in the mirror. You're being stupid. Gotta go. Clear my head._

"Come on. Night's still young."

_Remember, remember…_

"What time is it?"

"Time to get a watch, Terra."

I laugh at this pun as we fly toward the amusement park, even though it's not REALLY that funny.

"Come on. Let's go on the bumper cars."

We're having fun. At least that's what I tell myself all through the rides, the ones I used to love so much as a little kid, and then we're on the Ferris wheel. I like that ride a lot.

"So what made you change your mind?"

"Excuse me?"

"It was the ears, wasn't it? Ladies love the pointy ears."

"Actually, it was because...of all the things I could've done tonight, I realized all I really wanted to do was spend time with you."

Crap. I'm blushing, I just know it.

"Lucky for me you didn't have other plans."

_Oh, but you did have other plans…you slimy, evil…murdering…_

"B-Beast Boy? If you knew something bad about me, would you still be my friend?"

_He'll say yes. I KNOW he'll say yes. And if he doesn't, well, I just won't tell him._

"Of…course…"

"And if you were my friend, I could still tell you stuff and you wouldn't think anything bad about me, right? You'd still like me?"

He squeezes my hand. I don't even know how we started holding hands in the first place.

"Yes, I promise, Terra. No matter what."

_What do you do when someone wants to kiss you? I guess I'll just kiss him…man, this is great after all—_

"Hello, Terra. Remember me?"

Gasping for breath, because I FELT it when my heart stopped that time. Slade stands up along with Beast Boy, and he's so much _taller _and _stronger _as he literally shoves him out of the way.

"I have plans for you, Terra. Did you think you and your little boyfriend could just…run away?"

And I swear Slade's doing it on purpose…and the only thing I can think about is that stupid movie I told him about, and how it looked really good…and for some reason he'd seen it already—but this time it wasn't the good guys, blowing up stuff or killing people. I swear he picked TODAY on purpose, and if I live through tonight I have to ask him about it—

"Terra! Run!"

"Stay where you are, child," Slade orders.

_Remember, remember…_

"What do you want with her?"

_Remember, remember…_

"You mean she didn't tell you? I thought you were friends."

_The fifth of November._


End file.
